I DEFY DESCRIPTION

I am dim-witted, boring, and clueless. I hate to laugh, and I find people with a sense of humor annoying. I look and act much older than my age, probably due to my unhealthy lifestyle, overweight and unfit condition. I get out of breath opening the refrigerator. I have no hobbies, talents, or interests. I spend most of my time watching TV. I depend on other people for every aspect of my existence. I never have an original thought, and believe everything I am told. I am frightened and intimidated by strong, independent, and intelligent men, and usually end up crying and frustrated when I am around them. I think sex is totally over-rated and a complete waste of time; I intend on remaining celibate for the rest of my life. While I do not hate children and animals, I seem to feel better when they are not around. I am easily offended, and like to argue, whine, and complain. I am stunned that I have never been nominated for Keith Olberman's "Worst Person in the World" segment.