This year, I decided to do something different as the Mad Scientist.

I figured people were tired of my previous performance - "Wretched imbeciles, how dare you invade my laboratory, where I do experiments that change the world!". After all, I'd been doing that for two years.

I did that for a few days while thinking up what to do next. Then came the moment of inspiration! I was leading people out to the Labyrinth and instead of saying "Beware the Spiders", I decided to try "Beware the Lobsters!" After all, they still have grabby bits, right?

People reacted strangely to the Lobsters. Most of them were completely baffled, and I heard from the people in the Labyrinth that people were asking about the Lobsters and where they were.

I figured I had a hit on my hands, and made up the tune ...

The Lobsters are eating my brain
and that's why I'm going insane
The Lobsters
The Lobsters

A few days after this started, a nice couple who had bought a Season Pass came up to me and handed me a stick with an orange construction paper drawing of a lobster on it. I was touched. This was the first - and only - time anyone had done something like that!

Ah, those were fun times. But it didn't last.

Billy came up to me and told me the Lobsters had to end, they were ruining the haunt, because instead of fearing the haunted house, they were baffled and thought it was dumb.

So I had to kill off the Lobsters, but the funny thing was, a lot of our actors were telling me how much they missed the lobsters. And my replacement skit, in which I cried out that "Igor has vanished! He's gone!" was just not quite the same ...

There is a corridor leading to the Mad Scientist room in which I can often hear what people say as they come to visit. It has a nice little preview of what's to come, red doors with Toxic signs all written on them.

One girl truly changed my life, and I wish I could write her a message. She said to her friends that this looks like the land of Toxic Waste. All of a sudden, the new skit flashed in my brain ...

Welcome to Toxic Waste Land
where you get the radiation tan!

It snapped! It was funny, it made people laugh, and it was loads of fun. And she was such a sweet girl, too, she asked me to continue with her into the Labyrinth! Pity I could not. But if you're her, drop me an email. I'll hide with you in the Labyrinth any time :-).

I was happy with my script again.

But I still miss the Lobsters.

I guess they ate more of my brain than I thought!

David,
Demon House's Mad Scientist!

Filed under: lobsters, toxic waste land, and labyrinth