It seems that a lot of relationships, particularly in today's world, become love/hate situations (or love/fear). More often than not, intense love can be followed by emotional attack, anger, accusation or complete withdrawal of affection... And this is considered normal!
Another common approach is to avoid relationships, most often practiced to avoid pain. But this isn't an effective strategy either. Experiencing many "failed relationships," if approached from the perspective of awareness, can do more to enlighten you than years in seclusion.
True love has no opposite...
Think about that one.
If a relationship moves from "love" to anything other than love, it wasn't true love to begin with, but rather infatuation. Many passionately dive into a newfound "love" only to realize that their "perfect infatuation" has turned into a perfect monster.
Typically, we begin to see all the weaknesses and shortcomings in that person that mysteriously did not show up before. In actuality, each person offers the other an opportunity to observe their own weaknesses and where they have the possibility to grow.
A perfect relationship will only be achieved by two people who are passionately pursuing and are open and willing to grow.
There have been several occasions in my own life in which I came out of a relationship followed by a long period of being alone. In my experience, these times have been incredible times of increasing awareness. And then... Invariably, the Cosmos sends me the perfect mate to test the depth of my true mastery. Unfortunately in many cases, intellectual understanding outshines practical mastery.
The things you don't like in others are often the darkness in yourself that you refuse to face.
This dance with your own darkness is where the battle begins. This battle is never truly with the other person. The student fights the battle internally with his/her own demons. While difficult, this battle is potentially a great gift.
For true love to flourish, you must dis-identify with the ego and its incessant thoughts and begin to transcend and live in a state of Consciousness, Beingness or Presence.
To do this, you must become the observer of your thoughts and your behavior. Once you move to the point of observation (in other words, you observe the thoughts and emotions that arise), you no longer are identified and/or owned by them.
Increased consciousness does not mean that you will no longer have the feelings and thoughts... you definitely will. The ego survives on these things and will create them even to the loss of your own happiness. But with increased consciousness, you can allow these egoic thoughts and feelings to arise, observe them happening, yet not be attached or defined by them.
So begin relating and growing...
Allow those around you to show you who you truly are. I guarantee it will accelerate your power more rapidly than any visualization or exercise will ever do. Get in the game! After all... that's why you're here.
To your continued wealth and happiness,